I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
