Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.