Texts From Last Night

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  (510): View more from California

  i wonder if she has dreads down there too...

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  (510): i wonder if she has dreads down there too... http://tfl.nu/iak9
  Replies (13) Good night (686) Bad night (2812)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow

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  (989): i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow http://tfl.nu/zmy7
  Replies (11) Good night (2139) Bad night (819)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses

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  (303): I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses http://tfl.nu/qudw
  Replies (3) Good night (2741) Bad night (514)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.

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  (603): So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find. http://tfl.nu/dz78
  Replies (22) Good night (3541) Bad night (1560)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.

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  (401): Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex. http://tfl.nu/0okh
  Replies (22) Good night (729) Bad night (5066)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.

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  (727): hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week. http://tfl.nu/6l6t
  Replies (15) Good night (1659) Bad night (3789)
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.

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  (765): After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself. http://tfl.nu/i4wo
  Replies (14) Good night (1867) Bad night (5853)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this

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  (303): I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this http://tfl.nu/m1v9
  Replies (11) Good night (3142) Bad night (915)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!

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  (202): My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin! http://tfl.nu/ygvu
  Replies (18) Good night (5613) Bad night (1216)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take

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  (303): If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take http://tfl.nu/wz90
  Replies (23) Good night (1281) Bad night (4952)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.

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  (586): I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup. http://tfl.nu/qqt4
  Replies (4) Good night (1290) Bad night (1154)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again

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  (509): threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again http://tfl.nu/loxl
  Replies (4) Good night (488) Bad night (1185)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!

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  (920): we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?! http://tfl.nu/3ixp
  Replies (14) Good night (518) Bad night (1844)
• Favorite

  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.

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  (857): His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time. http://tfl.nu/a23u
  Replies (3) Good night (752) Bad night (334)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?

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  (520): Did your surprise acid trip turn out well? http://tfl.nu/10os
  Replies (6) Good night (619) Bad night (442)

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