So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
