someone owes me an orgasm
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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