Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(314): View more from Missouri

Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?

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(314): Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent? http://tfl.nu/oc2y

Replies (20) Good night (1044) Bad night (2048)
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(828): View more from North Carolina

you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie

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(828): you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie http://tfl.nu/vbyw

Replies (36) Good night (6226) Bad night (1559)
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(704): View more from North Carolina

This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.

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(704): This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'. http://tfl.nu/12fd

Replies (9) Good night (867) Bad night (2450)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level

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(908): I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level http://tfl.nu/uegr

Replies (11) Good night (5559) Bad night (1468)
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(503): View more from Oregon

He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.

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(503): He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out. http://tfl.nu/qidl

Replies (6) Good night (3163) Bad night (1031)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.

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(919): It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed. http://tfl.nu/521h

Replies (9) Good night (3300) Bad night (1333)
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(817): View more from Texas

I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.

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(817): I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox. http://tfl.nu/4k53

Replies (4) Good night (1265) Bad night (642)
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(218): View more from Minnesota

I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.

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(218): I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday. http://tfl.nu/vjch

Replies (4) Good night (1506) Bad night (556)
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(360): View more from Washington

I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.

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(360): I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend. http://tfl.nu/rb31

Replies (7) Good night (1221) Bad night (686)
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(678): View more from Georgia

It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.

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(678): It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls. http://tfl.nu/0s5d

Replies (6) Good night (1279) Bad night (711)
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(515): View more from Iowa

SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.

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(515): SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me. http://tfl.nu/71wb

Replies (6) Good night (1320) Bad night (391)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD

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(973): SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD http://tfl.nu/vbpx

Replies (2) Good night (539) Bad night (317)
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(248): View more from Michigan

Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...

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(248): Sex aside I am really scared about Syria... http://tfl.nu/pc9q

Replies (2) Good night (545) Bad night (374)
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(425): View more from Washington

I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.

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(425): I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding. http://tfl.nu/i9yx

Replies (3) Good night (387) Bad night (504)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.

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(860): Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister. http://tfl.nu/yhbd

Replies (2) Good night (349) Bad night (213)

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