God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Oh god it's open bar.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
