don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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