were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I am naked and annoyed.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize