yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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