We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
