Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
