oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
