Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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