How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
