I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
