How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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