does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
