I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
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He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
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