TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
