I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
