I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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