you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize