she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
