Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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