Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
