How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
