i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
