Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
