did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
