he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
