4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Im part way to drunk.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
