Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
