i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
