Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
