So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
