Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
