I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
