you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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