Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
