No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
