Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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