Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
this just has baby written all over it
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
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i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize