I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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