If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
