Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
