Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Randomize
