i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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