Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
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