she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
