I can't breathe out the right side of my face
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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