I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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