I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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