I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
