Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
