Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
