Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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